By Aditya Aamir
Vigilantism remains the focus. Talking of the cow vigilante, RSS honcho Indresh Kumar speaks like he owns not only the cow but also the human being, those with Indian citizenship – lock, stock and stomach. He consigns the bovine to the idiot category. That the cow “takes in all the poison” and that cow-dung will make do for “cement” and the “A/c”. Why/how? If cow can’t distinguish grass from marijuana, how come she is holy?
Where were people like Indresh Kumar hiding for 66 years? They are so archaic they give findings of archeological diggings a run for age. The Ashoka edicts look, sound and read younger by a 1000 years; far more progressive, too. What does Indresh Kumar know that the animal doc and makers of the Voltas A/c do not?
Are the walls of Indresh Kumar’s home plastered in cow-dung? Does his wife, if he is married, cook on burning cow-dung cakes? Does he drink cow urine first thing every morning to keep the good doctor away? Does he keep fresh cow-dung in his office to keep the flies away? Does he even have a cow in his shed?
But, his cow-obsession apart, it is his views on what Indians should eat and drink that take the cake. Cake made on a stove fired by dried cow-dung cake! He says ‘beef’ should carry the warning ‘Injurious to Health’ like the cigarette packet and the Gutka pouch. Indresh Kumar talks the language of the quack doctor. Why cannot he understand that the cake can be kept, and eaten, too?
But that is not what worries. There’s something about Indresh Kumar that is sinister. He talks as if he’s talking to a child. Every Indian irrespective of age is a child who should have the guiding hand of the RSS in the fullest. He is the ‘Demagogue’ with a capital ‘D.’ The demagogue has decided where India should go, and why/how?
And this, just in four years of BJP rule. Imagine 10/15 – 25 years! His sort will be in every kitchen. Toilet. Bedroom. Drawing room. Attic. Checking, checking, checking… Are cow-dung cakes stacked in the kitchen cellar? What food is in the fridge? The floors, are they cow-dung cemented? Walls, are they cow-dung plastered? Ventilation, does the air smell of cow-dung? What books are in the attic?
The colour of the curtains, saffron or green? What’s in the recesses of the unwashed mind? “Hey, tell us what are you thinking/drinking; snitch on your wife, what does she think?” The Indresh Kumar-sorts are dangerous. They position themselves in the human head and take the human into lanes and by-lanes where no sane man will go or ought to go. Into alleys that are ‘my way or the highway’.
They wear Hindu-headgear and speak for the Hindu as if they got God (whoever He is?) in their pockets. And what/who is Hindu? How many have seen/met a Hindu? There are only castes, scores of castes. Add to them the gotras and whatever else is rotten in Manusmriti and it’s a wonder if one can pin more than 10 per cent of Indians to the cow-dung plastered Hindu wall.
This whole ‘Hindu thing’ is a sham – a 5000-year-old forgery. Red-herring. Dead-end. Box canyon. Where Phoolan Devis are caged. Ravaged. Where men are sent into shitty-manholes. Where the mind is lynched. Where Vedic mumbo-jumbo is told in a language only the German learns. That because most Germans do not have to lift things – the heavy stuff, to make a living.
The RSS claims to have the “best graduates” in the country, graduates of the RSS School of Thought! If Indresh Kumar is an example and if he’s one of the professors, imagine the slam-dunk state of India! There will be no need for the Undertaker. Or The Great Khali alias Dilip Singh Rana of the Ambuja cement ad!
Four and a half years, and Indians are showing acute symptoms of RSS-fatigue. The 2014 vote was not a trade-off for obscurantism, for vigilantism, for peacocks that shed tears and a cow-dung substitute for the A/c and cement; cow urine for Allopathic drugs. Ayurveda is okay but it doesn’t work when the sickness is in the head. Next, Indresh Kumar will paint the rainbow saffron and make us believe it matches the colour of our skin!
Indresh Kumar says cow vigilante will disappear off the face of India and there will be no more lynching – ‘God Promise’ – if the cow is left alone to live her life to a plastic-end. What he doesn’t say is that another decade of ‘right’ rule will leave the whole of India right and truly RSS-cowed. Some things are not told to ‘children’. Like the little-repeated fact that the rising popularity of Buddhism forced Brahmins to put a halt to cow slaughter. Ask Swami Vivekananda. But to do that you’ll have to die first. Go to Heaven! (IPA Service)
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