By Aditya Aamir
The first rule of finding a solution is to be educated and not emotional about the problem. But it is hard when people are yelling in your face and getting physical. Well, not today or tomorrow, but say in two weeks’ time, when one ‘R’ called Rakesh Sinha will introduce a private member’s bill for another ‘R’ known as Ram in the third ‘R’ the country calls the Rajya Sabha. Then, if that doesn’t work and Ram doesn’t get his Mandir, there will the frenzy like promised by fourth ‘R’, the RSS.
At this point in Indian history, it’s all about ‘R’, alphabet No.18. Interesting. But here ‘R’ two ‘Rs’ that ‘R’ feared – Riot and rampaging rioter. A repeat (another ‘R’) of December 6, 1992. Who wants that? Quite frankly, nobody in the right frame. How many of us have a friend, family member or a neighbour who was in Ayodhya in the December of 1992 playing a part in pulling down the decrepit Babri Masjid? Not many, for sure. For, the radical right (two ‘R’) are not common folk, they are ‘R’ for rare and not a gem!
“Will 2018 close on a winning note for BJP?” is the question behind the brouhaha. There is a similar note attached to general elections 2019. The ruling clique of Modi and Shah is up against a formidable pair of ‘R’ – Rahul & Rafale – and the slipstream of the French fighter jet is kind of smoky, like the Delhi smog, hard to see through but nothing in it can be taken for granted.
So, go to the temple! But where is the temple? There is nothing to show, neither Achche Din nor Ram Mandir, for the four and a half years of not keeping promises. The Ram-inlayed bricks lie in lumps of heaps at the Ram Lalla site, nobody to pick them up and line them up for the mason to build the walls to Trump! Hell, Orange Head is way more sincere than Saffron Sir in keeping promises.
That said, much of the media is in the saffron pocket, but what about the docket? There is a new justice in town and he is Judge Dread! In “60 seconds flat” CJI Ranjan Gogoi, the biggest of the ‘R’, reversed gears and put Ram on hold, till after January next and maybe beyond, only Ram knows how ‘beyond’. And, before we knew, the Republic (R.TV) blew its set-up box. “What, Ram not a priority?” the nation’s anchor roared.
The next day, the numbers showed up on screen: NDA 261; UPA 119 and Others 163. Jeepers! We’re cooked, the voiceover moaned. In the land of Ram the number depressed: MGB 44, BJP 31. O! No, this is a nightmare. TheTimes they are not Now! Where is Yogi Bear? ‘Hindu is losing patience,’ said Giriraj Kishore, his grey stubble matching the mood. Shiv Sena and Subramanian Swamy. ‘Hindu Losing Patience’ became the war-cry.
So, bring in the ordinance. But Prof. Rakesh Sinha has the better idea. A private member’s bill. Let’s see who has the guts to reject it. Congress? Samajwadi Party? NCP? Mamata Banerjee? Forget Mayawati. That is great, says the Shiv Sena Thackeray. That’s wonderful, says Janata DAL (U). Everybody is sold on Sinha’s private member’s bill. Including assorted BJP. Choking heads in boxes on TV had a go at it and it is a stalemate.
Everybody’s waiting for Humpty Dumpty. But he’s – true to character – afraid of the fall. What if nobody picked up the pieces to make him whole, again? Like Mother Goose wrote, “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall/Humpty Dumpty had a great fall/All the king’s horses and all the king’s men/couldn’t put Humpty together, again.” It’s like Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. In the end there was no water.
So, Prime Minister Narendra Modi is not taking any chances talking and neither is his sidekick BJP president Amit Shah. Both are class ventriloquists from the Gujarat School of Ventriloquism. Ask them the question and the voice will bounce from the rafters. That is Bhayyaji Joshi, the RSS’s second best man, speaking for Modi and Shah, and it was a promise unlike Modi-made: ‘You don’t want a repeat of 1992, do you?” the Joshi-Padoshi warned.
The idea is to not give Rahul’s Rafale space and time to strafe the living daylights out of Ram and give the hoi polloi something to chew on. In the meantime, pick up an alphabet on the Ouija Board and the Ouija Board is Egyptian for ‘Good Luck’. It just so happens, the alphabet picked is ‘R’ and that spells a lot – Ram. Rafale. RSS. Riots. Rampage. One thing’s for sure, in the environment promised, we’ll all need lots of the Ouija Board, Good Luck! (IPA Service)
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